“I could come visit you and we could bake those double chocolate chip brownies like we used to!”
My good friend from high school gushed, as we caught up over a facebook chat. It’s not often that I find myself chatting with old friends, since my life has gone in a completely different direction that seems to be rather unfathomable to most of my 21 year old peers. Not many folks my age are chilling on the couch all day, wearing dark purple “seizure-proof” glasses, munching on rice cakes and popping fistfuls of funky smelling pills. I usually don’t even bother talking about my life much, and usually just play the role of the interested listener. This time though, I felt the need to mention that if she ever did come to visit me, we probably wouldn’t be baking any gooey, doughy treats, unless she planned to eat the dozen all on her own. I chose to not even mention the part about needing to practically fumigate herself before she set foot in my house. Best to keep it simple at first. One issue at a time.
“Umm…I….Well….”
I quickly wracked my brain for a simple explanation of why I couldn’t indulge in the foods we used to consume in mass quantities, or why she probably wouldn’t have any desire to eat the food in my refrigerator at all.
“Do you know what it means to be Gluten Free?”
There was a momentary pause in the conversation. As I waited for a response, I wondered if she had already ventured over to “ask Jeeves” what I was talking about.
“Oh yea, that girl from Survivor that’s on The View now, Elizabeth, she’s Gluten Free. You can’t have wheat.” She paused again as I sighed in relief. I was about to type an affirmative response but her fingers moved quicker than mine. “I don’t think those brownies were wheat anyway though. They were probably white flour, so you’re good.” I sighed again, this time in exasperation.
I don’t blame her for her lack of expertise on the subject. In fact, before I got sick, I had no idea that there were people out there living the life that I now find myself living today. I mean, let’s face it, for lack of a better word, my life is whacked. I haven’t been well enough to venture outside of my house in almost 11 months. There’s a cabinet of pills in my kitchen and an ozone generator in my hall closet. My wardrobe consists of mismatched pajamas, ugg boots, and a vast array of eyewear. Most nights the front rooms in the house smell faintly of steamed broccoli, not to mention that due to my unique choice in moisturizer, I myself smell like a walking, talking coconut.
Gluten is a hard concept to wrap your brain around though. It’s often hard for some who are even gluten free themselves. It’s a lifestyle change that is so incredibly crucial, but terribly hard to adjust to. It’s hard enough to get over that hump, you know, where you’re craving a piece of toast or a few homemade croutons in your salad, but throw in family and friends scrutinizing your new meal plan, it’s enough to make you want to run down to the local donut shop and throw in the towel. Unfortunately, those of us who are motivated to cheat never see the benefit from the diet and continue to damage ourselves, just for the sake of dining with others or indulging in a split second of taste bud heaven. So, I thought I’d put together a little “ABCs” of being Gluten Free, that may explain to those around us why we have to eat the way we do. Maybe it’ll even motivate you guys out there who have just been told to go gluten free, and don’t quite understand why just yet, or those of you who are supposed to be gluten free but find yourselves sneaking bowls of frosted flakes in the middle of the night.
The ABCs of Gluten Free
A bite of your cookie sounds tempting, but unfortunately the aftermath of just one bite would be quite unpleasant and something that you probably don’t want to stick around for.
Barley, wheat, oats, rye, kamut, and spelt are all grains that contain gluten. Unfortunately, they’re sneaky little boogers that hide in everything. It’s not just limited to pasta, cereal, and baked goods. Once you go gluten free, you also get a badge and an honorary title of “Label Detective”.
Celiacs aren’t the only ones out there that are allergic to, or damaged by, gluten. Studies are finding that gluten allergies and sensitivities come in all sorts of shapes and forms in many people who are either immune suppressed or have autoimmune disorders. Gluten just furthers the damage.
Digestive woes aren’t the sole symptoms that go along with gluten related issues. After having a bit of gluten, I could experience throat swelling, breathing difficulty, migraines, widespread pain, immune issues, bladder disfunction, dizziness, and heart rate issues, for up to two weeks.
Eating something that is labeled gluten free, or that I prepared myself, is always safest for me. Though I do appreciate that you made extra tuna noodle casserole!
Food that’s labeled gluten free doesn’t automatically mean that it tastes like cardboard. Okay, some gluten free food tastes a bit like cement. But so goes fruitcake, and that has gluten.
Gluten free products aren’t always safe, since it depends on the person’s additional allergies or limitations. For example, I’d love a gluten free cupcake, but can’t do the sugar. So, a basket of gluten free muffins might not always be the best housewarming gift when visiting a gluten free household. You just never know!
Having your meal or your dessert in front of me doesn’t make me sad or envious. I’d rather you sit and eat around me as you normally would, since this has become second nature for me. Getting up and walking away every time you’re hungry just makes me feel plain awkward.
In place of things like sandwich bread, cheerios, and spaghetti, I can eat things made out of brown rice. It’s not bad, I promise.
Joining you for dinner doesn’t have to be a disaster. I don’t mind bringing my own food. Eating with you doesn’t necessarily mean our plates have to match. I just like your company.
Knives that got put away after cutting your loaf of french bread can’t be used to cut my sweet potato. I’ll use a knife from the dishwasher, thanks.
Life now may be a little more complicated, but it doesn’t suck. What sucked was feeling like my stomach was going to implode every day before I even finished breakfast. I’ll take the tradeoff.
Most fruits and veggies are safe for me, so if you really want to bring me an edible gift, stick the the produce department. It may seem boring to you, but I find a perfect pear to be kind of exciting.
Now that my immune system doesn’t function properly and my body is in a weakened state, my system can’t process, absorb and filter things as everyone else’s can. It doesn’t have the capacity to right now. Instead of dealing with toxins or allergens like gluten as your body might, my body has an allergic response to them, and is sent into a confused, autoimmune, inflammatory frenzy.
On the rare occasion that gluten or a problematic substance does sneak its way in then, energy that should be spent keeping my blood pressure up, digesting and absorbing food, or fighting off disease, is instead spent fighting inflammation, allergens, and my very own immune system. This allows for symptoms to flare and bacteria and viruses to take free reign while my immune system is rather…distracted.
People that have issues with gluten often have malabsorption, which means that while they consumed gluten for years before going gluten free, the intestinal damage prevented them from absorbing food properly. So their weight issues don’t have anything to do with how much or how little they eat.
Quinoa is a gluten free grain. With a really funny name.
Rice, beans and peas may not look appetizing to you, but to me it’s pretty delicious, and it’s my lunch, so make your “eww…peas” face where I can’t see you.
Since going gluten free, my stomach function has improved, my bladder madness has calmed down, my weight issues have gotten better, my bloodwork looks better, my liver and gall bladder are happier, my headaches are completely gone, and I look a bit less like a starving ethiopian child. Once you go gluten free, you’ll never go back!
The diet took time and patience at first, both with my body and myself. It took a few months to see improvements, but as time continues to pass, my body continues to repair. I don’t want to muss it all up just for a burrito from the taqueria down the street!
Unless you’ve tried it, don’t knock it. That even goes for wrinkly things like dates.
Venture into my world for a second and educate yourself. I’d appreciate it more than you know, and perhaps you’ll even learn something that pertains to you. Google is a beautiful thing!
Wheat free doesn’t necessarily mean gluten free. Products that are wheat free could still contain barley, oats, or rye.
X is an obnoxious letter.
You may not be able to take me to a restaurant, but it’s just as fun to come over and cook dinner with me. Who knows if the chef back there washed their hands anyway.
Zany as my diet may be, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s such a critical key in my path to health. It’s also taught me lessons that I find to be invaluable. I’ve learned how to properly treat my body, I’ve learned to eat to live instead of live to eat, and I’ve learned to value the company of good friends and family around the dinner table, rather than the dinner itself. Gluten free is definitely for me.