Ever Battling but Quietly Dreaming
by Candice M.
With two steps forward
and one step back,
the ups and downs of a lyme patient
are nearly impossible to track.
The outlandish modes of healing
and controversy surrounding the disease,
make it difficult for a lyme patient
so find support with ease.
Friends and family sit confused
as they grasp to understand,
why treatment makes us sicker
or why we constantly need an extra hand.
Our symptoms can seem peculiar
and our lives rather strange,
as we fight a mass of bacteria
that has infected our brains.
The bacteria is like no other
in its ability to multiply,
as our bodies become toxic
and aspects of our lives begin to die.
It’s easy to give in
to the destruction the disease takes,
as others thrive
in a world we can only partially partake.
Some of us so debilitated
we can’t venture out our front door,
our bodies too weak to handle
being out and about anymore.
Others around us become frustrated
and at times our endurance begins to fall weak,
but we must always remember
that it’s faith we must seek.
Families must have both faith and trust
in their infected loved one,
and patients must remain certain
that their battle will surely be won.
As we continue to take baby steps forward,
and perhaps a step backward from time to time,
we must acknowledge that we are slowly gaining ground
on this mountain we are struggling to climb.
The journey up is a treachurous one
full of long days and frightening nights,
therefore it is perfectly understandable
if at times it’s hard to smile throughout the fight.
Family and friends must understand
that it’s difficult to constantly grin and bare the pain,
just as the average person finds it hard to be upbeat
when they’ve come down with a nasty flu or a blinding migraine.
Positivity may not always be realistic
but it is crucial to never lose hope,
and though you may not be able to smile
you must hold on to that optimism in order to cope.
Optimism is that voice inside that tells you
though it’s cloudy now there will be sun,
that it’s still okay to dream
because someday you’ll get the chance to reach for every one.
Continue to quietly dream and plan
the life you hope to one day be able to live,
and keep those goals in mind
as you give this fight all you have to give.
Friends and family please trust
that our tribulations don’t reflect our will to fight,
and that the weakness of our bodies
doesn’t reflect our strength and might.
My head may be relentlessly dizzy
and there’s not a lot of air left in my lungs,
but my mind is as optimistic as ever
and my heart is still 21 years young.